Reading the preceding blogs in this series, a young monk apprentice emailed me:
"I am writing to you seeking guidance. I just read your latest article on your website, and devotees are also discussing it on Facebook. It really made me think deeply. Honestly I feel discouraged, and my mind is afflicted by doubts. Especially for a person in my situation, staying in place where there is a lack of serious, purpose built and purpose driven men's ashrams'.
"So my question is, is it necessary for me being in saffron? Knowing well that there's no support and constant motivation for us brahmacharis in [country withheld]. Your article made me realise that I would actually do good as an upstanding bachelor or grihasta than always being frustrated by the lack of critical elements of 'leadership, camaraderie, facility, and training'. Oh Gurudev, I am in total darkness, falling at your lotus feet and praying to you for guidance."
What can I say. Experience has firmly convinced me that men in the brahmachari ashram should undergo only one category of pressure, with two subdivisions. Totally nothing from the outside. All the urging should emanate from within the candidate--first, to get in and, second, to stay in. This policy, followed by progressive ashrams in the world, reverses the social practices in earlier, beta versions of ISKCON.
An updated ISKCON, version 2.0, would approach ashram choice this way: a man contemplating entering monastic training has to solidly convince the saffron leaders that he is making a decision founded upon complete awareness of both what brahmachari life entails and what it will do for his future. Where I am involved, I generally give a prospective candidate a long look, intoning slowly, "Are you sure you know what you are getting into? Are you prepared for at least a few years' lifestyle of just humble, selfless bhakti--serving, chanting, reading, and kirtan, in a communal setting of simple living? Is this (the sweet nectar) your strong desire?" Of course, a genuine brahmachari ashram radiates attractiveness--its pristine atmosphere sells itself, to those inclined.
Once a man joins the saffron set, then no automatic, revolving enrollments. The ashram leaders and mentors should conduct annual or bi-annual reviews, in which everyone's file is lovingly up for reflection and review. The ashram staff is duty- and love-bound to ensure that no one over-estimates his capacity, straining to be someone he is not, in a placement that no longer works for his balanced development in bhakti.
Needless to say, a monk apprenticeship is not every man's cup of herb tea. Though sincerely considering it, individuals in some circumstances would best choose another bhakti lifestyle. No bar to becoming Krishna conscious, some of these situations entail:
Recently, somewhere in the ISKCON world, in the southern hemisphere, a monk apprentice suddenly, without a word, departed the ashram for full material life, and then astonished his comrades by launching an Internet campaign of, shall we say, creative writing, depicting his brahmachari years as emotionally coerced suffering. Later he revealed to a lady devotee that prior to his devotee years, his gender inclinations had been elastic. Commonplace today, gender variables are no barrier to a bhakti practice, at home. An ashram, however, is a special niche. The brahmachari comrades of this former monk apprentice, still deeply valuing this person, were saddened more by the unnecessary stress and pain their friend had inflicted upon himself, than by the glaring lack of disclosure and interpersonal honesty. Hiding and bottling up such significant psycho-physical tendencies for some years popped the cork in such a regrettable and immature manner.
Social statistics reveal the social realities in the West: ferocious, delirious, frantic, and deranged. Now India wants in, on a fast track to human disaster. Srila Prabhupada appropriately sums up the status quo (Bhag 1.1.10):
". . . so many sinful acts are being carried on that the people in general have neither peace of mind nor health of body. The student (brahmachari) communities are no longer being maintained, and householders do not observe the rules and regulations of the grihastha-ashram. In the Kali-yuga the whole atmosphere is surcharged with faithlessness. Men are no longer interested in spiritual values. Material sense gratification is now the standard of civilization. For the maintenance of such material civilizations, man has formed complex nations and communities, and there is a constant strain of hot and cold wars between these different groups. It has become very difficult, therefore, to raise the spiritual standard due to the present distorted values of human society. The sages of Naimisaranya are anxious to disentangle all fallen souls, and here they are seeking the remedy from Srila Suta Goswami."
Constructing a model for a genuine human society is a monumental task. Following the path of our spiritual predecessors, we seek their mercy and strength.